Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If I die, sorry about rent.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
