The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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