they need to just BURY HIM!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
