thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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