Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
