Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize