Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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