You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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