i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
