I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
