my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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