Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
