Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize