I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize