I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
