Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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