She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
