Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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