Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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