it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
