you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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