i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
