these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
