I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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