so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
