he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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