hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
