this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
