Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
