so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
