Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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