i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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