is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
worst night to have a conscience
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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