OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You are a genius and a whore.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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