I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
