He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Of course I have a pirate flag
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
