i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
