Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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