yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize