Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
