I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
