So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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