You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
