Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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