can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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