I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize