whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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