At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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