There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize