how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
