Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
