So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
