By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
