Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
