I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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