I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The uberlube is also flammable
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
