I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
