with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
