So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
