Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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