were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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