Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
And then he peed in my hair
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