Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you didnt know i had herpes?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
