I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
