Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
