Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
