All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
