I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
