sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I want a musical about memes.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
