dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
