they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
