my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
