I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
