Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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