wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
