Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize