he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
