is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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