god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
