im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
