He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
