She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize